cukup...agak..kangen..rumah

something has surely changing in my life. something has surely changing in me. the way i look at days, the way i look at things, the way i look at my self is never be the same ever again. it's all changing....... and i don't even know whether it changing into a better or a worse thing. all i know is just, everything was changed. I, was changed. being here, in my empty-yet-full-of new room, in front of my laptop, writing this post, while Boys Like Girls feat Taylor swift Two Is Better Than One’s song played in background, i tried to remember what the hell is changing me. it's him. everyone knows that. but, i think it takes more than him to change me. maybe he did change a little piece of me, but the rest? i don't think it is only him….but almost part of my life is changing because of him… hhmmm…what about life…yeeaahh I guess and I think so Well….tampaknya phenomena gegar budaya dan phenomena melunturnya kemampuan berbahasa jawa gue sudah mulai terasa akhir akhir ini dan menempelnya logat “lo – gue” yang makin saja terasah dari hari ke hari….

Ya ya ya…hari ini benernya beberapa hari terakhir siihh gag cumin hari ni…, gue bener- bener menyadari satu hal yang sejujurnya aja bikin diri gue sendiri agak tercengang, fakta bahwa, "gue sama sekali ngga siap ninggalin kampong halaman gue... I mean Jogja….bahkan gue cenderung takut buat ngelepasin masa indah gue padahal selama ini gue pengen banget cepet- cepet Jogja dan cari suasana baru…tapiiii kok ternyata I feel that I wanna go home…..pengeeeeeeeeennnnn… ……..pulaaaannggg


pemikiran ini tiba- tiba timbul waktu tadi di kantor…seperti biasa berkutat dengan pekerjaan yg hmm…sebenarnya menyenangkan siihh…just….yah gimana ya…sedikit ..hhmmm..susahh ngomongnya…hmmm gini deh gara – gara foto bareng sahabat – sahabat busuk yang lalu lalang di screen saver……(berhubung gue lom pernah poto ama cowok gue yah…sory ya yank..poto anak anak duluu yaa yang aku pasang hihihii…)
tiba- tiba terlintas di kepala gue, "DAMN…….gue kagak bakalan dapetin moment moment di poto itu lagiiii…huksssss." dan pemikiran itu berkembang menjadi, "gila! gue bakal kangen banget nih ada momen- momen kayak gini..." dan bikin gue jadi tambah mikir, "gue kayaknya belom siap nih ninggalin hari- hari penuh hura- hura kayak gini..."
arghhh....!!!!!!!!.........tapi…gue udah janji sama enyak babe dirumah….(betewe…baru semalem gue sadar kalo enyak nangis ditelpon…Gosh…I miss her so….she’s the reason for the tears drop on my pillow last night…..miss you mom…
kalo boleh jujur…hmmmm…
gue bener- bener ngga siap ninggalin banyak hal dari apa yang ada selama ini...
gue ngga siap ninggalin kenangan- kenangan indah sekaligus malesin di Jogja,, gue ngga siap ngelepas masa masa fun fun fun gue,, gue ngga siap berpisah sama temen- temen yang udah bareng- bareng sama gue dari up side down gue....., ngumpul rame- rame nge-ceng-in orang, ngomongin orang, ngegosip...nyanyi- nyanyi karokean bareng……
gue yakin, gua bakalan kangen banget sama semua ini.....

yah tapi siap gag siap…gue udah janji ma diri sendiri wat kuat kuatin di Jakarta….yah buat yg sebagian bilang Jakarta lebih kejam dari ibu tiri well….guys..ada benernya sih tapi…yah idup itu penuh resiko….hahah setidaknya tinggal di jogja juga kalo kagak ati ati juga bahaya…..
but thanks buat smua yang udah support banyak hal…sahabat – sahabat gue…yang udah bener bener nguat nguatin dari jauuhh….buat my beloved mom and dad…I’m sure I’m miss you a lot….sekarang baru kerasa kalo…tunjung kangen banget cerewet nya mereka masalah JAM MALAM….hehehe…disini aja kagak ada jam malem but….pulang juga kagak berani malem – malem secara udah kagak ada angkot wkkwkwkk……thanks buat my beloved brother and her girlfriend yg udah selalu berusaha ada nemenin selama di Jakarta….hmmmm…..love yew….the last but not least for my the one who loved me that way…..my boyfriend…hihihiii……….oke oke aku gag akan nangis nangis minta pulang lagiiii tiap homesick….. yah tapi sesekali boleh lha yaaa…hihihi….but thanks yah for giving a big support…hmmm…just remember the song of Boys like Girls….” I remember what you wore on the first day...You came into my life and I thought..."Hey, you know, this could be something... 'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away…And now I'm left with nothing…” hehehehe…..

but I guess you are right from the beginning when you came and said to me a long time ago that…”ikan…maybe two is better than one”…and I do believe now that your words was true….hehehehehe….anyway falling in love at the coffee shop is unbelievable hahahhaha……

well…..ini adalah re-post dari note gue di FB...sekedar curahan hati setelah sekian lama gag menuliskan apapun di notes fb gue.....i don’t even care if someone akan bilang gue lebay alay..well just don’t care…ahahahah ^^b